What a Nursery Rhyme Can Teach Us about Balance

— La'NA'

Do you remember the nursery school classic, Goldilocks and the Three Bears?  Goldilocks enters the bears’ cabin and begins eating their porridge, only to proclaim the first bowl too hot, the second bowl too cold, but the third bowl is—just right! 

Growing up, my generation understood the message of moderation because we lived it. Friday night was the only time I stayed up past 10 p.m.  We were permitted one Coke a week, and that was on Saturday. Likewise, sandwiches came with one chip—one single chip, not a bag of them. Balance, therefore, had a simpler meaning, one we associated with the physical attributes we relied upon to jump rope, bounce on a pogo stick, practice ballet or perform gymnastics. 

Of course, I grew up with far fewer distractions than children today with all they have on their schedules. Even so, the discipline we now grapple to instill in order to achieve balance was something my peers took for granted. 

Now that life has grown far more complex, our searches for better health, more harmony and greater beauty have become frantic. When the best answer might be a little discipline that allows for simplification and moderation, many of us get stuck on trying to make everything just right.  And what is just right? A world of balance to one may look like mayhem to another.  Also, let’s face it: even when we simplify and find a happy balance, there is no guarantee that all things will be equal at any given time.

In an interview for a corporate video presentation, I was asked if I thought women had it easier in today’s work environment.  Maybe so. Some aspects of balancing family are better accommodated with changes in attitudes and technology that permit working away from the office. Still, I’m sure many moms feel just as frazzled as my mom—especially after her role changed to single parent.  

Today, we  say “sandwich generation” to describe those who care for elderly parents while raising children. In my family, caring for young and old was normal. We didn’t give it a second thought, except for the one time I asked my mother why I had to be the person she always called on for help.  She responded, “Because there is no one else who will help me.”  I never felt compelled to ask such a question again; that moment gets me in the heart every time.

History also repeats itself with grandparents caring for their grandsons and granddaughters while moms and dads work. Like previous generations, too, more folks are employed through their 60s, and either by choice or necessity, many are working into their 70s and 80s.  

As these lifestyle patterns reemerge, I’m paused to ponder the fact that the practice of medicine now refers to itself as “chronic healthcare.”  All the research, all the articles and all the coaching haven’t seemed to make life balance out just right.  If anything, today’s lifestyles and healthcare options remind me of the old English nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty.  Lacking real balance, everything eventually comes crashing down.

Like you, I want to do it all.  What’s more, I believe that when we are particular and intentional, we can successfully take on and accomplish more than we ever thought possible.  Nevertheless, no one can juggle endlessly. Our lives require the essential element of balance—that happy medium—to achieve and maintain health, harmony and beauty in life. 

We say we desire balance, so let’s not go looking for it in the latest fad diet with a minimal amount of sleep and lack of focus.  Balance cannot survive for long in the extremes of hot and cold; instead, it thrives on a degree of discipline necessary to simplify and moderate. In time, the health, harmony and beauty we achieve will be just right.

Let’s keep in mind, however, that attaining health, harmony and beauty is a work in progress for being just right.